Why being fair to a woman will get you an empty bed. (Alpha Male Training)
One of the biggest mistakes dominant men make in their relationships with submissive women (vanilla men too) is projecting into them their male thinking. In this article I will peel open the concept of being fair and reveal why it doesn’t work!
One of the biggest mistakes men make in their relationships with women is projecting onto them their male thinking. I did this for years until I realize what it was doing to my relationships.
One of the masculine features they usually project onto women is the concept of fairness.
When this mistake comes back to bite their asses they do not understand what happened, they cannot understand why their women (more so in the vanilla world) come back to them in such a self-centered, selfish way in response to their fairness.
Well, there is a simple reason for it: fairness is – in fact – an invention of men.
Men have been providers to women and children along all the thousands of years of Evolution so they feel terribly guilty if everything is not “shared in a fair way.” When I understood this, many things cleared up for me in relation to understanding my female partner’s.
This is the responsibility you feel when you know you have the power.
Women are different: their job for thousands of years was to invent ways to have the men give them and their children part of the preys of their hunting, for the sake of their survival. Women don’t want to be treated fairly. Oh sure, if you asked them if they did, they would of course say yes. However that is just the logic of the moment. If you did start to treat her fairly very soon after that her feelings for you would begin to change. Mostly, she won’t be able to articular why her feelings for you a fading.
Women don’t usually explore their feelings much, they just have them and go from one to the next. As a matter of fact they exist in a sea of emotions constantly that they can never turn off except while sleeping. A previous girlfriend of mine didn’t even get a break then, her dreams were almost as active as her waking state.
Being fair was easy to men: they had the power and access to food and resources. Being fair was much more difficult for women under such conditions and could have impaired their own survival and the survival of their children. We are still creatures of our 40,000 year old evolutionary programming.
It turns out that if you are fair to a woman she will draw a long list of very unpleasant conclusions about you and your personality of which these are the most important:
– She will think that if you are fair to her it is because you are tired of hunting and want to rest and please her. In a word what is for you a good, noble thing is for her a weakness. She will draw the conclusion that you are less fit for survival for her liking and give you the last hit. In fact if you are less fit for survival it may be the last time she gets your preys away from you (anyway) and she will try for as much of the preys (farm, house, boat, tools and whatever for fuck else you have) as a matter of survival. It’s not personal.
– She will draw the conclusion that she is permitted to steal from you the prey of your hunting and believe me: she will.
Gentlemen listen to me, instead of wining about it or calling her an evil bitch for doing so, remember she is a creature of her 40,000 year old programming and so are you!
This is one of the main reasons for the failure of most relationships with wives and girlfriends: if you look backward there was a moment where you started to feel: “This is not fair, I am more powerful, I should raise her at my level”.
And that my friend was the beginning of the end because soon after, you wondered why you got an absolute no “thank you” from her and why she seems to want more and more and more from you. In her female language, she is trying to tell you to “Man Up”.
Gentlemen tell me the truth: each one of you has been in a marriage or relationship with a woman and realized at some point: “What the fuck is going on here? The more I give the more she seems to want to take!”
This process went on until.. you were made weaker and she left the relationship and took half of your shit with her.
Or until you had to stop her from doing that in a pretty rough way.
No matter how balanced and sexy a woman is, no matter how great you and she get along she will have to be reminded not to be selfish. She is incapable of what you guys call “altruistic” behavior toward her same-age partner.
She can only be “altruistic” toward her children.
That doesn’t mean you can’t teach her how to behave and to relate to you in a different way. What you need to get out of your mind is that you will be able at a certain point to have her internalize fairness.
That will never ever happen!
When a male perceives himself in a situation in which he is taking advantage of the other person, he tends to feel guilty.
He either constructs psychological defenses that allow himself to continue in the one-sided business in which he gains at the other person’s expense or, he somehow goes about increasing the gain for the other person while reducing his own value until that point at which he feels things are “fair” or “equal” again. Bad, bad move!
In other words, he somehow tries to build an altruistic balance.
When a female, on the other hand, perceives herself to be involved somehow in a one-way relationship (in her favor), she recognizes it as such but then doesn’t take the next step. Instead, her typical response is to attempt to perpetuate the situation, cause it to continue, figure out how to make sure she continues to get that stuff.
It isn’t nasty behavior from her; it is, simply, her own instinct to preserve herself. When her children get messed up she sacrifices herself; but not before that time. Well maybe some modern women not even when their children get messed up.. but those are extreme cases.
So if you set yourself up in a relationship with a woman in the position of being “fair” to her in everything she will take from you everything she can get, even the last penny, then find someone more alpha. Instead the position you need to take towards her is one of constantly teaching her how to give you things in return for what you are giving her. You have to teach her that whatever you give to her is not free. You need to teach her fairness and altruism.
When you do this you gain her respect: you are showing her that you can be a hunter and also hunt her.
How do you do that on a daily basis? Like this:
– Your leadership with a woman is not for free. Every time you do something for her you need to communicate / sub-communicate that you do that only if you are treated well and get something in return. If she stops complying you stop leading and giving. Verbalize this as a need.
– Be specific in asking things from her. Women like to take care of you. You can be specific about how you want her to make love with you, in which way you want to be touched, tell her openly what pleases you sexually. For Dom’s in the BDSM community, this part is easy.
– You can be specific in regard to how you want her to behave socially, how you want her to dress, how you want her to come close to you, of which subjects you want her to talk with you and so on. Again, in the BDSM lifestyle any Dom who could not achieve the above should re-think his role in the power exchange dynamic of our community.
When you teach her to give things back to you in return for your existence in her life you are behaving with her like her Prince. Women love the idea of being devoted to Princes because they are usually the best hunters. It also feeds into the fairy-tale that’s been pumped into them by society their entire life.
However if you get into the downward spiral of giving her all you have for the sake of fairness you will be taken into a black hole, her attraction and respect for you will go down and you will finally lose her.
She will think that you are pleasing her because you want to rest and stop hunting and will behave accordingly by taking the remains of your prey without remorse. An alpha male cannot rest, ever! It is an illusion to think otherwise. If you are alpha you know that you can rest only in your grave.
Put your energy into business, pick-up arts, seduction, staying fit and never ever enter a relationship where you are being made weaker!
To be able to understand the deep differences in psychology between you and women is a very important life skill that you will need to make it in the world of dating and managing your relationship. EVEN:
If you are a single man willing to seduce women to get a wonderful girlfriend.
Or a husband willing to make his own wife happy in the relationship.
Or a playboy wanting to have a lot of fun with many hot women.
Take this information and chisel it in tablet form and carry it around with you. (In the 21st century the electronic version of the tablet will work as well.)
Happy Hunting –