The Devil May Care…
The devil sat on my sofa, leaning back into the cushion, leg crossed. He sipped a cup of black coffee, and seemed in no rush to leave.
“Isn’t it about time you go?” I impatiently looked at my watch.
“What’s the rush?” He shrugged one shoulder. “I mean, it’s hardly worth it to leave. It seems I barely get out the door, and you’re already calling me back. Next time, I’m bringing a bag.” He took a mouthful of dark brew, and savored the taste. “You really do offer the best hospitality.”
“Yes, well, I do appreciate that you always come so quickly, but, I don’t believe that I invited you this time. In fact, I think that you may have initiated this visit all on your own.”
The devil laughed, and the richness of the tone rippled across the room. “No, no, you definitely called me. You ALWAYS call me.”
“I don’t recall…”
“You butt dialed me.” He paused for effect. “I could hear what was going on, and, believe me,” he rolled his eyes, “it was most definitely an invitation.”
I started to protest.
“Uh uh.” He pointed a finger straight at my nose, “You were screaming for God, but that wasn’t who you wanted. You definitely don’t want him showing up and seeing you like that, now do you?”
He had me there.
“You know,” he mused, “Before your ass made its booty call, I must have been the last person you dialed on that phone. Hell, it’s starting to look like maybe I’m the ONLY person you’ve been calling.” He nodded emphatically, “I’m definitely bringing a bag next time….and maybe a toothbrush too.”
I hung my head in shame. “I could have handled this one.”
“My dear,” he kicked off his black, snake skin boots and put his feet up on the sofa, “there is trouble you get into, that only the devil, himself, can get you out of.”
“How do you figure?”
“It’s not the temptation. No, you snap that up without any intervention from me.” He sat his empty coffee cup on the side table, and laid down on the couch with a
throw pillow behind his neck.
“Please, don’t get too comfortable.”
He continued, “But after the deed is done and your head cools, you just don’t have the stomach to clean up the mess. You need someone to blame it on….”
“The devil made me do it? ” I cringed.
“Exactly.” He smiled.
“I’m going to stop doing this. I’m going to straighten myself up. “
“Why, of course you are, my dear.”
The bastard reached out and patted my hand reassuringly.
“Stop that!” I pulled away.
“Don’t pretend you don’t like it,” he chided. “My sin is all over you.”
Pulling my feet off the floor and making myself very small, I sat quietly, as if I thought I might be able to hide.
“There, there, ” he consoled in that smooth, familiar devil voice of his, “it’s not that bad. You and I are old friends. I don’t judge you. In fact, I’m the one person who won’t.”
“Mmm hmm.” I didn’t like it, no, not one bit….but it was true. “You are the only person who always comes when I call.”
“That’s right,” he agreed, “and I always will. When no one else cares…”
“Please, please…don’t finish it!” I shook my head, like I had just tasted something very bad.
“Okay, I’ll spare you,” he smirked, then reached out again with his hand. “Here, give me your phone.”
“Why?” I reached to fish it out of my rear pocket.
“Relax. I’m just going to put myself on speed dial. ” He started fumbling with the buttons. “Beezlebubb…too obvious? How about Justin Bieber?”
“A bit played. But it will do.”
“It’s getting late,” the devil noted, looking at the wall clock. “I’m thinking that I’m just going to stay over. I don’t really want to leave you alone with your conscience tonight. You look overwhelmed enough as it is.”
I reluctantly nodded, and stood to begin shutting the house down for the evening. “I know you’re used to warmer accommodations. Much warmer accommodations…” That won me a glare. “Do you want me to get you a blanket?”
“Not necessary, ” he dismissed, getting up off the couch. “I’ll help you finish cleaning up down here, and then we’re going upstairs.”
“We?” I eyed him.
He strode across the floor, and as he snapped his fingers, the dishes were done, and the lights turned off. “Stop making a big deal, and come along, my dear…after all, this will hardly be your first time getting in bed with the devil.”
I paused for a second to think, and then followed along sheepishly…he was right. “Um, you aren’t going to tell God about my calling his name tonight?”
“Not as long as you don’t tell him about me answering.”
submitted by – acraft