He’s Just Not That Into You
I recently read a posting entitled “The Distant Dom” which asked the question, “How do you let your Dom know that you need him to communicate with you more without sounding like a whiny baby sub?” Somewhere in the post the writer mentioned that she would sometimes have to wait hours or days for a response to her text messages.
Simple answer: He’s just not that into you. Remember the Sex and the City episode, the book, and the movie.
It is literally that simple. If you are waiting hours or days for a response to a simple text message, he’s just not that into you. If he can’t take five minutes to call you once, twice, three times a week, he’s just not that into you. If he’s making excuses as to why he can’t see you, he’s just not that into you.
Or he’s married.
But assuming he’s not married, if he’s regularly not available to text you, call you, or see you…. he’s just not that into you. It’s the hard, cold, uncomfortable truth. There are excuses that he might give, or you may make for him. He’s busy with work, he’s busy with his kids, he’s having a bad day, etc. But really, he’s just not that into you. You are not a priority and you are not important to him.
Sure, there are extenuating circumstances. Phones may get left at home, the battery goes dead, there’s a family emergency. Maybe your Dom is a neurosurgeon and in surgery for 12+ hours a day. But if you are regularly waiting hours or days for responses, he’s just not that into you. Seriously, how long does it take to respond to a text message? Thirty seconds, a minute. It almost takes more energy to ignore a text message, than to respond to it.
If he is into you, he will make the time to respond regardless of his busy schedule. He will WANT to see you whenever he can and he will move mountains or meetings to make it happen. If you are important, he will make you a priority, invest time in building a relationship, and at the very least, respond to your text message in under three days.
I had this issue with my previous Dom. I made excuses for a little while. I communicated my concerns. I explained why not getting responses was difficult for me. I asked for what I needed. But deep down I always knew the truth, he’s just not that into me.
So today, I put on my big-girl pants, took a long, hard look in the mirror and accepted; he’s just not that into me. It’s time to move on, time to break the cycle. Does it make me a bad submissive for ending a relationship because my needs are not being met? Nope. I need someone that is going to give me attention. Actually, I need someone that WANTS to give me attention. I need a Dom that is going to appreciate me, value my submission. I need a someone that is just that into me.
Is that too much to ask? I don’t think so.
So ladies, stop making excuses, stop over-analyzing, stop sitting around wondering when you’re going to get a response to that message, or when you are going to see your Dom again. Be strong, realize you deserve better, and move on.